9jajokes

Read this "HATE letter". It is so funny and creative. This is a love letter from a boy to a girl.... However, the girl's father does not like him and want them stop their relationship... ...and so..the boy wrote this letter to the girl..he knows that the girl's father will definitely read this letter.. 1 "The great love that I have for you 2 is gone, and I find my dislike for you 3 grows every day. When I see you, 4 I do not even like your face; 5 the one thing that I want to do is to 6 look at other girls. I never wanted to 7 marry you. Our last conversation 8 was very boring and has not 9 made me look forward to seeing you again. 10 You think only of yourself. 11 If we were married, I know that I would find 12 life very difficult, and I would have no 13 pleasure in living with you. I have a heart 14 to give, but it is not something that 15 I want to give to you. No one is more 16 foolish and selfish than you, and you are not 17 able to care for me and help me. ...

A man in USA sees a dog attacking a girl! He kicks the dog, it dies! Newspapers report "LOCAL HERO SAVES LADY FROM DOG" Man says i'm not American Report changed "Foreign Hero Saves girl from Dog" Man says: Actually I'm Pakistani Breaking News: "Terrorist killed Innocent Dog which was playing with a girl"

Garden Boy : Landscape Executive Officer (LEO) *House Maid : House Upkeep Manager (HUM) *Receptionist : Office Access Control Manager (OACM) ... *Typist : Printed Document Handler (PDH) *Messenger : Business Communications Conveyer (BCC) *Window Cleaner : Transparent Wall Technician (TWT) *Temporary Teacher : Associate Tutor (AT) *Tea Boy : Refreshment Specialist (RS) *Garbage Collector : Public Sanitation Engineer (PSE) *Watchman : Theft Prevention and Surveillance Officer (TPSO) *Thief : Wealth Distribution Expert (WDE) *Driver : Automobile Propulsion Specialist (APS) *Maid : Domestic Operations Specialist (DOS) *Employee without Portfolio : Administration Manager (AM) *Cook : Food Preparation Officer (FPO) Do Not Forget *Unemployed : Town Surveyor (TS) *Gossiper : Research Manager (RM)

Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new CEO for Microsoft Europe. Five thousand candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Ayodele a Naija guy. Bill Gates thanked all the candidates for coming and asking those who do not know Java program to leave. Two thousand candidates leave the room. Ayodele says to himself, "I do not know JaVa but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try. Bill Gates asked the candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people to leave. Two thousand leave the room. Ayodele says to himself "I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?" So he stays. Then Bill Gates asked candidates who do not have management diplomas to leave. Five hundred people leave the room. Ayodele says to himself, "I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?" So he stays in the room. Lastly, Bill gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serb-Croatian...

A secondary school geography teacher went to drink at a beer parlour after school on friday. His wife was at home waiting for himto come back as usual. Past 4pm he's not yet back, so the wife thought he is staying for evening class. 8pm he is not yet back so the wife became worried and alerted some friends. They all went to the school to find everywhere empty. They called theprincipal and he said the man left for home immediately after school. This made the wife to become more worried. It's now 11pm so they went and reported to the police who joined in the search. At about 2:30pm, they found the man sitting at a corner, awake and not sleeping. They reached to him and asked why hehas refused to come home. He called them a bunch of illiterates..." you lack knowledge in geography,.. since the earth rotates with everything in it, I decided to sit here and wait for my house"

one day four friends Anointed. Emmanuel. Michael..and Sam went to the burial ceremony of their friend in a certain village in ghana. it is the custom and tradition of the village that when a deceased is about to be buried, his friends will put something in his/ her casket. Anointed had nothing to give at the moment so he assisted the women in cooking and serving foods and drinks to guests. that was all he did. Emmanuel put into the casket some expensive wine worth of $3500. He said ''bros keep shining your eyes till we meet again...good bye'' Michael counted a reasonable amount of money ($5,000) and put in the casket and Said "my dear i could have given u more than this, but due to economic crises in our country , this is only what i can afford now..use it to upkeep yourself till we meet together once again'' The last person Sam wrote a cheque of $ 15,000 put in the casket and collected michael's $5000 and said. "nna you know that the journey is to...

I wanted to use my ATM card but the machine kept on rejecting the card. A frustrated me called my bank help line. Me: (angrily) So what's wrong with my ATM card. Call girl : Sir, I have checked your account, everything is alright here and You should be able to use your card, are you sure your card is not damaged or broken? Me: Are you insane? What are you insinuating? No one takes good care of their ATM card like I do. Call girl: Okay Sir, are you also sure the surface isn't wet or stained with dirt? Me: You dey mad? ATM card wey I dey pet like egg. As a matter of fact, I even laminated it last week when I laminated my Identity card.

One day at the end of class, a teacher Mr. Ofoka asked the whole class to go home and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story. The following day Mr. Ofoka came into the class and asked for the first volunteer to tell their story. little Suzy raises her hand and was asked to go ahead. "My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road." Then Mr. Afoka asked for the moral lesson of the story. Suzy replied, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket." Next is little Lucy. "Well my dad owns a farm too and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched." Mr. Afoka also asked for the moral lesson of the story. Lucy replied "Don't count your eggs before they're hatched." The last person was little j...

Never argue with a woman, just use your brains like this my guy. A man went on a night out with his friends the wife is furious and tells the kids that when he comes back they must not open the door for him. At about12 o'clock the man comes back and knocks... the Wife tells him "go sleep where your coming from " and the man answered" I'm not here to sleep my dia , I'm here to collect condoms in my room on top of the table or give it to me, there'r lots of women at the party!" The wife opened the door and said "idiot" you are not going anywhere. Enter the house.

Ekaitte went to the store to buy a parrot trained in the USA and asks the sales person; "What's so special about this parrot ?" Sales person says: "This parrot is a genius and can answer any question" Ekaitte asks the parrot; "How do I look?" The parrot replies; "You look like a fuckin slut?" Ekaitte gets pissed off and tells the sales person that its a very rude parrot and she cannot buy it despite it was trained in the USA. The sales person tells Ekaitte to wait for 2 mins... The sales person takes the parrot to the back of the store and shoves the parrot into a bucket of water and when he pulls the parrot out he says; "if you disrespect the lady out there again i'll soak you back in water" and takes the parrot back to the store. Th sales person apologized to Ekaitte and says she can ask the parrot another question. Ekaitte: "If I come home with one man what would you think?" Parrot: "He's your husband"...

Hahahahaha!! I just can't stop laughing. This is the awkward Truth About some husbands. A group of men gathered at a church conference on how to live in a loving relationship with their wives. The men were asked, "How many of you love your wife ?" All the men raised their hands. Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your wife you love her ?" Some men answered today, some yesterday, majority didn’t remember. The men were then told to take their cell phones and send the following text to their respective wives: I love you, sweetheart... Then the men were told to exchange their phones so one can read the other wife's reply to the love message. Here are some of the replies: 1. Have you impregnated someone again 2. That was then, not now 3. You wan borrow money abi? 4. What did you do again? I won’t forgive you this time. 5. Meaning? 6. Is that a new song? 7. Am I dreaming? 8. If you don’t tell me who this message is actually for, you will die to...

Three business associates, an Igbo man, a Yoruba man and a Chinese man, went to eat lunch together at a restaurant in Surulere. While in the middle of their meal, a fly came in through the window. It flew across the table to where the Igbo man was but he just waved his hands to chase it away. The fly then went to where the Yoruba man was, he also chased it away. Finally, the fly then went to where the Chinese man was and was flying close to his ears. The Chinese man looked at the fly for sometime and then grabbed it, put it in his mouth and swallowed it. The other men saw this but just kept on eating. About Five minutes later, another fly came in and flew to the Yoruba man who just chased it away again. It then flew on to the Igbo man but this time he did not chase the fly, he looked at it for sometime and then grabbed it. He then turned to the Chinese man and asked "how much you go buy am?"